If that was your dad, he is hot
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
im holly from the hills drunk
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
