We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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