did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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