Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
