There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
