went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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