Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
