who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
