my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
