Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
