i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
