was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
