She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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