We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
