Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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