HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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