We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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