I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
