Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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