I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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