It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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