you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
