Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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