$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
