I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
