real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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