i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize