STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
