You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
