8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You brought string cheese to the strip club
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
