the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
