They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
