just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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