I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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