Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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