I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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