Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
