This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
