Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
