it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
