Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
