Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
