How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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