That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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