So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize