ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
