She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
