You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize