how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
