Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize