me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
