I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
