I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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