There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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