walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
