therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
