honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
