if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
