He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
