Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
