What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
