he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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