Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
