Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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