We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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