look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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