I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
